Sep 17, 2012

A day in the park

It was a usual busy Sunday evening in the park, families and gatherings trying to catch some warm moments for a weekend. I took Annie and her kids there to show that I loved my sister, although all my previous attempts to convey it to her had ended up in fiasco. And this time also it was no different an attempt. Alan,my nephew and Eva,my niece had already made friends in the park. I was throwing a smile at every person who passed me, to prove that I am a social animal as they say human beings are. I was afraid those were turning out to be mere warpings of my lips. Eva and Alan were running hither and thither with other kids like a bunch of cute butterflies.
"How soon do they make friends!", I exclaimed.
"Its quite natural Harry. But i don't know why you were never good at it. Not even in our school days. Maybe, like you people scientists often say, that's not your field."
I looked at her. She was looking away from me. I didn't know what to say.
"You know Harry? There was once a time in my life when i wished I had someone to go to. Someone who would hold my hands and just say it's alright. Nothing more... just to say a few good words. I wish I had a brother."
"You do have a brother Annie", I said.
"Can you say it to my eyes Harry? I don't know whether you remember, it's been two years he left us. Alan was feeding on me, and Eva had questions about what happened to her dad which I could never answer. I wished I could hide from my kids for a moment and cry on somebody's chest. Whom I could have gone to? I had a brother who was busy putting his achievements in newspaper."
"But Annie I..."
I wanted to complete my sentence with an 'I love you', but I knew she won't believe it.
I just kept on watching the crowd indolently. It was hurting me when I heard kids calling out "Daddy, Daddy...". I was turning 33 and I really wished to have kids. It was not that i can't have kids. But nobody wanted to have them with me. I was such a loveless rascal.
Alan and Eva were happy when they returned after a hilarious episode of games, although they never wanted to go out with their uncle at first.
I was driving them home. Kids had started sleeping on Annie's lap when I asked her,
"Do you remember those days Annie when mom and dad used to have those ferocious fights? And we were hiding under the table..."
"It's been decades Harry. What now?"
"How did you escape those memories Annie? When I see Eva and Alan sleeping on your lap, as if they are in the safest place in the world, I do know you have escaped those memories wonderfully. But I could never escape them Annie, I could never..."