Jan 3, 2011

The performer...

He visits my thoughts sometimes...
It was a usual evening in the park for others. For me it was just a day away from home, when I was asked to accompany a friend to the park who when that particular girl called, left me in that corner and dived into the earphone of his mobile phone.
It was in that lonely moment of boredom, he caught my attention. He was sitting there, curiously watching the playing kids around. When I looked at him, he gave me a smile. It was such a peculiar smile that it made me sit beside him. We had some formal conversation. But somehow I asked him that question, "Is there anything that haunts you?". He stopped for a moment and gave that beautiful smile again. Then he told me a few stories that he never got a chance to tell, despite being a story teller.
He told me everyone liked him, but no one ever knew who he was. He was an active student in college days, an active person in his office and so everyone said he was a nice guy. But he always felt something was wrong and never knew what it was. He said, all liked the superficial appearance of him but no one could tolerate with what he really was. He had two lovers in his life, both of them left him because they could not accept the person beyond how he appeared before others. He was afraid to have a third person in that category. "People likes me when I say jokes, my adventure and funny stories... people like me when I give elocution in functions...But when I talk about my pain, they begin to recede. They say my sad part which I say cannot be true... I can never be sad, they say", he often repeated things he already said, which reflected that those things were haunting him.
I said nothing until he completed with a smile and gave a sigh. He resembled much like me, I felt. I told him, "You are basically a performer and you are supposed to perform. So am I. Each day I compete with the performer I were the previous day. There may be people who can see beyond that performer and see that real you. You will meet them on the course of your life...", Nothing I said could console him, that I know. It was just a mechanical advice, although sincere it was.

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